Friday night is fish'n'chips night, or, as my friend Mike so brilliantly calls it, 'chip'n'fish night'.
Why? Who? When? Where? I can't be haddocked to research it but I do champion the tradition. A friend (not Mike this time) recently made the point that life can be enriched by stringently keeping regular nights for regular activities, thereby giving one something to always look forward to – Meatball Mondays, Tug-o-War Tuesdays, Whisky Wednesdays, Tunbridge Wells Thursdays, Fish Fridays, Shaving Saturdays and Sideboard-hunting Sundays.
Maybe seven-days-a-week is pushing it. Half and half would be good. That would, of course, mean we'd have to make the week eight days long but that wouldn't be such a bad thing and would certainly give the three-day weekend argument a further boost.
And while I'm at it let's ban children from zoos and demand recycling bins specifically for lighters, pens, corks and wax.
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