There's a rumour going round these parts that I caught this bug from a 3am swim in the lake whilst off my titties at a festival last weekend. Balderdash! I appeared on BBC South Today on Monday denying these accusations but you know what rumours are like – just won't go away.
Such are the joys of a liberated Friday that even being ill can't quash my happiness. I'm just going to 'enjoy' being ill. Lying back on a chaise-longue, wrapped up in blankets, reading Paulo Coelho whilst supping on home-made broth. I'll stare out of the window listening to the cuckoos going crazy outside or simply indulge in watching Deborah Meaden in 'Celebrity Onion Chopping' on BBC iPlayer.
And every so often I'll place the back of my hand on my forehead in a kind of Dickensian/Romeo 'Oh, Whoa is me' kind of way. At 6.25pm maybe a hot bath with bubbles, candles and joss-sticks, followed by a glass of medicinal vino and an art-house film about a kidnapped Wallaby.
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