Fool's Gold

April the first. And a Friday to boot. That'll be a long lie in whilst concocting April Fools gags then. Due to the invention of the mobile phone and its bastard spin-off invention 'texting' I can conduct all my April Fool tomfoolery from the comfort of a mattress, a duvet and two plumped up pillows. A flurry of hilarious texts are sent to unsuspecting friends.

APPARENTLY A METEORITE LANDED JUST OUTSIDE LEAFIELD LAST NIGHT

HAVE YOU HEARD? THERE'S A GORILLA ON THE LOOSE IN ENSTONE

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. JIMMY CARR'S BOUGHT THE ROYAL OAK IN RAMSDEN

PHIL COLLINS HAS RABIES

These are all fine to send. If believed they won't worry people too much unless you happened to live just outside Leafield or were passing Enstone, on foot, carrying a crate of bananas. But then I go too far. I send one to Ben that reads ACDC HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED TO PLAY IN OXFORD. Now this is actually quite conceivable. Ben really likes ACDC. If he believes it only to ultimately discover it was a prank he will have his excitement quashed and be thoroughly gutted. Therefore I conclude it's fine to slightly worry people with April Fools but exciting people with positive news that is a lie is not good. I've learnt my lesson. Sorry Ben.