A Devious Tax Plan

I promise myself every year that I'll get all my tax shit together in April so I can avoid a last-minute panic in January. Never happens though. April is for writing poetry about daffodil fatigue and elderflower anticipation, not sifting through Office World and Total Garage receipts.

This year I'm really cutting it fine. The width of a chive. This means I am having to use this sacred day for the most mundane of activities. Heavens no! I need a plan. And by Jiminy (my imaginary accountant) I concoct one! It's a corker of an excuse for not filing my tax return in on time - I have a solar calculator!

I will ring the Inland Revenue and inform them that I own a solar calculator and due to a dearth of sun of late I've been unable to charge it up. It's as dead as a dodo's do-nut. Therefore I've been unable to tot up all my figures. 

Genius! What else could they say apart from. "Okay Mr Lancini, we'll waiver the £100 fine, wait until we've had some sunny spells and expect your return in a few weeks after that."

I throw the receipts to the floor, whip out the green Bic Biro and start waxing lyrical about daffodil anticipation.