An Afternoon Art Attack

An afternoon at an art gallery. On dating websites this is a possible multiple choice answer to the question "What would you like to do on a first date?" Other possible answers include 'A drink or seven in a pub', 'A game of Battleships' and 'An evening pretending your cheese'. I went on a cheese pretending first date once. I just kept quiet and stilton all night while she cheddered on about herself. We didn't see each other again.

I'm not actually on a date myself today but I bump into a couple who are. One of whom, who shall remain nameless for legal reasons (but Matt Sage you know who you are), comes out with the classic put down line of contemporary art critique. The line, "My four-year-old daughter could have done that."

I laugh ironically. I want to ask him how come his four year old daughter doesn't exhibit but then remember:
a) It's this kind of subjectivity that makes modern art so fascinating
b) I've been thinking some of this stuff is quite questionable myself
c) He doesn't actually have a four-year-old daughter

I wonder if this artist actually has a four-year-old daughter, who he gets to knock up the odd piece for his exhibitions. And perhaps she has exhibitions herself where he does the same for her. Other four-year-olds come along to it and announce to each other, "Jesus, my 40 year old dad could have done that."