Still LIfe With Glass And Surf

The Tate gallery in St Ives is a unique place. Set just back from the beach, the floor inside is home to many a grain of sand. You don't have to get out of your wetsuit to come inside. You can surf a wave, pop in to see some Vincent Van Billabong and then jump back into the sea, suitably inspired to ride another wave.

To be honest, today's exhibitions were a tad disappointing – no Vincent Van Billabong for starters – but the best exhibit here is actually a permanent fixture. On the second floor there is a huge glass-fronted curved facade with a sublime view of the beach and the ocean beyond. However, there's no sign to say what the piece is called or who the artist is. God? E.T.? Evolution? Damien Hirst? Or possibly a collaboration by all four. When I asked a member of staff who it was by she pulled a hamster out of her bra and pirouetted to an internal telephone where she puked up orange paint all over the handset.

It's coming to something when gallery staff's responses to public's questions are art in themselves. Shit art at that.