Bank Holiday Alert!

I have a friend. He’ll remain nameless. He doesn’t like his life being put up all over the internet. For the sake of the narrative though let’s call him Kieran. He’s an extremely talented artist (www.kieranstiles.com) and as such leads an unorthodox working routine. Despite this, I’ve always found it baffling that he never has a clue when Bank Holiday’s fall. I deride him for this. Surely, even if you operate outside the perimeters of the nine to five, one must still have some vague notion of when they are? Always two around Easter, first and last Monday of May, end of August. It’s textbook.

But today, for the first time in my life, it happened to me. I had become ‘Bank Holiday’ ignorant. Popping in to drop something off at a client, I mentioned I’d pop in again on Monday (I like to ‘pop in’). The client responded with, “Well, you can try but no one will be here. It’s a Bank Holiday you bloody idiot.”

So there you have it. The dragon has bitten the back of the donkey’s tale (or whatever the phrase is). Four years of freelancing and I’m losing my grip on the nation’s paltry pre-determined holiday allowance.

I don’t get paid for Bank Holidays anymore but I still enjoy the communal vibe and all the Tolberone it brings.

I had to ‘pop in’ to the Londis on that way home for Monster Munch. There, I announced to a fellow shopper I’d just found out it was a Bank Holiday weekend. “I’ve just found out too. You would think I should have known” he replied. “Why’s that then?” I enquired. “I work in a bank!” he chuckled.

You just couldn’t write it.