Flyfishing For Secret Santa Buyers

Secret Santa time. I had the task of buying a mystery gift for a client. I have attained knowledge of said client being a keen fisherman so decided to go for a safe bet and get something fishy. I looked in the Yellow Pages and located an angling shop. The shop was near a church but disappointingly the owners had missed the trick and hadn't called their shop 'In Rod We Trust'.

To me, the place was a bizarre emporium of puzzling gadgets, day-glo packaging and sinister foodstuffs. I hadn't a clue what to do so I approached the cash desk and three cod-faced shop assistants. As I waited in a two-man queue I formulated what I was going to say. I was going to make them laugh. Bring some welcome cheer to their day.

"Yes Sir, how can I help?"

"Well, I'm buying someone a Christmas present but I've never been in an angling shop before and have no idea what I'm looking for. SLIGHT PAUSE. I'm like a fish out of water!"

No laughter. Not even a smile. All I got was an earnest reply that I should buy some things called fishing flies, that looked like weird mosquito voodoo dolls.

At times I feel my comedic talents are so wasted.