The Friday Morning Horror Double Bill

Human beings of around my age (41) may well remember that back in the day (a Saturday to be exact) there used to be a Horror Double Bill on BBC2. The first film would usually be a B/W 1940s number. A bit creepy but not poo-your-y-fronts scary. This would be followed by a technicolour Christopher Cushing saturated shock-horror that would make going to bed afterwards a gruelling experience where every sound heard would be Dracula sharpening his incisors with my dad's welding equipment (my father did use to work in the welding trade so the garage often had various welding tools stored within).

This morning, on the witching hour itself, I decided I would create my own horror double bill. I logged on to ireallydoquitelikefilm.com and downloaded two horror films for instant viewing.

Firstly 'The Objective'.

Quite intriguing sci-fi horror. A little on the macho-American 'uh uh uh' side of things but I suppose being set in a war zone it's hardly going to feature artisans discussing Van Gogh and how to pickle beetroot before being eaten by vampire cricketers.

Secondly 'The Box'.

Jesus H Christ and all his disciples! What a load of cobbler's nuts. In fact, that's being really hard on cobbler's nuts. I can't even bring myself to describe the plot or the acting. I gave up watching it with over half an hour still left. It's not even so bad it's good. It's just bad. Awful. I found myself thinking, "What the hell am I doing watching this cobbler's nuts at 3am? And that's being really hard on cobbler's nuts."

And so I went to bed. Nightmares galore including waking with a classic 'night terror' moment - the sensation that someone or some kind of force is holding you down as you try to wake. The nightmares were unpredictable, well acted and involved some amazing special effects, way better than CGI. Whats more I didn't need to take out a subscription and I managed to notch up 8 hours kip into the bargain.