I'm enchanted by the photograph in front of me. It's entitled 'House in the woods', a composite of six photographs - woodland creatures hanging out in the same derelict house at dusk.
Lions, whales and humped-backed she-wolves normally take pride of place in Wildlife photography but for me the half silhouette of a squirrel on a window sill, looking out to see if he's dad's arrived yet with the Friday night fish'n'chips does it for me. However, I'm slightly distracted by Consequence Man.
Consequence Man is the curator at Oxford Science Museum. He manages to shoehorn consequences into all his conversations. "Oh sorry Sir, we don't normally give receipts because people would just chuck 'em away." "You need a cup when using the coffee machine because if you don't they'll be an almighty mess." "No, we don't do food because if we did we'd have to charge more for entry." "Would you like to buy a postcard of the exhibition to send to your nan? If you don't you might only get a fiver in your birthday card next year."
It's a pleasant distraction though. I like Consequence Man. However, he is soon ushered away from my psyche by a lady who enters the exhibition. I recognise her but like a defiant lapel I just can't pin her down. It was only when she starts chatting with Consequence Man that the lady penny drops and I can't believe my luck!
I've been suffering all week from a bizarre body rash and the doctor I saw at the beginning of the week had prescribed potions that just weren't shifting it. Moreover, the itching was actually getting worse.
It was her! The doctor! She'd come to me in my hour of need! Quel Coincidence!
I bound over to confront her on the issue when quick as a flash Consequence Man swoops in between us and pulls me to one side. "Don't do it. Leave her alone. If you approach her in public about your ailment it will ruin her visit. Don't forget it's a Friday too. You of all people should respect people's wishes to be free of working matters on said day."
It was a fair point well made. I give myself a good scratch and return to the house in the woods.
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